Monday, April 26, 2010

Is Tom Hanks a pussy?




LOS ANGELES—Two-time Academy Award winner Tom Hanks, 53, once again invited a group of friends to his home and forced them to play a make-believe game of World War II with him, sources reported Saturday.

Director and producer Ron Howard, one of the guests, confirmed that Hanks made his visitors pretend they were a battalion of Allied soldiers for more than six hours.

According to sources, Hanks barked out pretend mission objectives to his friends before issuing uniforms and M1 Garand rifle replicas to Springsteen and Short. Due to a "recent attack on supply lines," Howard was given a green sweat suit and a tennis racket meant to be held backward like a gun.

"Bruce, you're the tough guy from Brooklyn who cares a lot more than he lets on and everybody calls you 'Brooklyn,'" Hanks reportedly said, pacing back and forth in an authentic 1943 U.S. officer's field jacket. "Martin, you're the funny medic named Dankowitz."

"Ron, you'll be the weakling Irish kid everybody thinks is going to get us killed," Hanks added. "Let's just hope you don't, soldier."



You know, I have mad respect for Tom Hanks so I'm not going to talk shit about him but, this make believe World War II game is just plain weird. Like seriously, unless you are a child, it is never okay to play war in the living room . Is this Tom Hanks idea of a Saturday night? I can imagine Tom Hanks friends coming over, expecting tea (and most likely teabagging) only to find out they're going to get dressed up in green sweat suits and play Cowboys and Indians. Like if I was going over to Tom Hanks crib, I would be pumped. I would be preparing myself for a night of blunts, booze, and babes only to find out I'm shooting a tennis racket to battle Tom Hanks. I bet his friends were just wondering what the fuck they got themselves into. Tom Hanks must have seriously been trippin balls. His friends probably would have had a more interesting night watching ESPN with Wilson from Cast Away. Love you Tom Hanks.


PS- I like how he made fun of pussy Irish kids. pvssy.







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