LONG BEACH, N.Y. - When her best friend turned purple, Miriam Starobin’s thoughts turned to yellow — cartoon hero SpongeBob SquarePants.
The denizen of fictional undersea Bikini Bottom was being credited Friday with inspiring a lifesaving rescue during music class at a seaside school earlier this week.
Miriam, a Long Beach Middle School seventh-grader, and her “BFF,” Allyson Golden, had just finished rehearsing the “West Side Story” classic, “I Feel Pretty,” for an upcoming choral competition when their teacher cracked a joke that had the 12-year-olds erupting in laughter.
“Allyson was chewing gum, which she shouldn’t have been,” Miriam recalled Friday in a mock tattletale voice during an interview in the principal’s office. “We were laughing and then the gum gets lodged in Ally’s throat. And she stopped laughing, which was weird because Ally laughs a lot.”
That’s when Miriam says she recalled an episode of the popular Nickelodeon cartoon, where she believes she saw SpongeBob use the Heimlich maneuver to retrieve a clarinet lodged in the throat of another character, Squidward.
“And I get her up and I do the Heimlich and the gum goes flying out of her mouth,” she said.
Allyson, who pleads guilty to chewing a wad of Trident Original Flavor, realized almost immediately what her friend had done. “I gave her the biggest hug and I was like, ’Miriam you just saved my life. I owe you big time.’ And she’s just, ’Oh, no, it was no big deal.”’
This reminds me of the time I was at the strip club and my boy Ant started choking on a chicken wing. I noticed he was choking because he stopped talking and my boy ant NEVER shuts the fuck up. I punched the mother fucker in the stomach and the wing shoots out right next to this sluts 6 inch heel and we got back to doing our thing. Now I saved the guys life but im a grown ass man and I am just prone to do shit like that. This little 12 year old rugrat is a fucking hero and this is the exact type of story that movies are made of. If I were the principal i would just send this chick straight to High School and skip all that other shit because she is obviously in a different league playing in a different ballpark. And then to top it all of the humility of the chick "oh, no, it was no big deal" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ITS A HUGE FUCKING DEAL YOU JUST SAVED YOUR BFF'S LIFE!! They should make sure this chick doesnt have a penis because she is way too brave to be a 12 year old little girl, unless maybe her dad is Rambo or McGyver or Doug Flutie, then it would make sense.
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Doug Flutie makes me wet!!!
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